It has been a long time I didn't update my blog already..
finally it's my last semester staying in Kampar and October I'm gonna come back to KL for my internship.
time flies..and I'm glad my hard work during past semester pay..
under my hard work and persistence, I pass all subjects for pass two semester.
At the moment the result was released, I was damn so anxious scaring that I might fail the hard subject
I am so happy that for this one and only one semester, I pass my Accounting subject- Managerial Accounting without need to resit for another time.
unlike previously I always failed my FAF1& 2 and need to repeat both again. it was just like a curse for me that I always fail accounting paper but not this time!!!hahahahaha..finally I managed to break the curse..hurray
And during these time, I learned a lot and become more matured in thinking.
Sometimes you really need to let go in order to live a better life.
and I feel so happy and relax recently..
no more sad feeling and hatred feeling towards her..
I love my life for now..life without them that I can do whatever I want where I need not to care so much about them and think for them..
Found that I love freedom so much and I don't need someone that will limit my freedom and choices.
I can decide myself where I want to go, what time for class and what to eat without need to follow and adjust my choices to please and convenient them.
its all just about me..
Perhaps you can label me as selfish person, but I'm more to a kind person and this kindness always exceed my selfish thinking and made me a very kind and careful person that I am willing to ignore my own desires and go for other's advantages.
now that I'm enough for my kindness shown and time to live for myself.
This is not selfish, as you act more selfish than me.
Lessons learned from them :
Never treat people with 100% true heart and when you started to care about others, you are a loser!!
this is the rule to survive in this cruelty world and you have to learn to protect yourself from being hurt badly by the one you care so much.
Thank you for the life lesson and I found it useful when I decide to leave the gang and started to live for myself.
In three more months time, I will be leaving this small town that once I had so much memories here but now those are sad memories of mine.
Few days before having lunch at campus and group of Psychology student conducting their study survey asked me : What is happiness?
am I happy? yes, I am. As I am able to do whatever I want to do, I have food to eat, I have clothes to wear and I live healthly without any disease.
Groups of friend to share my happiness? No, I don't need it as once I tried to share all my happiness and sad things with them and what I get is a blame and end of friendship.
No one is willing to listen to true heart talks of yours and don't be such naive believing they will take serious what you said.
Not every selfish people have the kind heart of mine that willing to overcome the selfish feeling and be good to others. No one.
I'm sick of my kindness and even I tried so hard, I still can't get rid of it.
Kindness kill me and it torture me and made me suffer from the responsibility that do not belongs to me.
Among group of selfish person, you can't be one of them or else no one will take the responsibility as each person also think for their own self. Works couldn't be done in that situation.
So, I am selfish, but not as selfish as yours. Why can't I be as like you? I don't know. Although I wish to.
This is a complicated feeling.
I don't know. I have really no idea on this.
End topic.
