2012/12/27

新年·願望


末日預言並沒實現
還有幾天就邁入2013 年了
每一年第一個月的第17天是我的生日
不到20天的時間我就會踏入23歲了

沒什麼,日子依舊這樣過
過去的一年裡學會了很多
成長很痛我永遠也忘不了那刻骨銘心的傷痛
那是我人生里上了一堂最現實最寶貴的課
我悲痛欲絕失望難過但還是一個人挨了過來

學會了自我調理心境
我不再會如此輕易相信他人寬容他人
並不是身邊每一個人都值得我如此付出
到最後我還不是被人當傻瓜一個
靠自己才是最實際的

成長了,責任也大了
看著年邁的父母其實我有些愧疚
延遲一年畢業也是我一手造就的
對不起是我讓你們失望了

對於未來,我真的很彷徨失措
獨生女一點兒也不好當
我擔憂我害怕我無助

世界上最親的我只有父母二人
而生老病死是人生必經之途
我不敢想像當有一天他們離我而去那刻我會有著如何的心情

人,總是奇怪的生物
小時候我恨不得快些長大好擺脫家裡的束縛
現在長大了卻覺得時間過得真快所有的一切快得在我掌控之外

我明白媽媽最近的意圖
她總愛探聽我是否有對象
還時不時跟我說教,什麽帶眼識人的、潔身自愛之類等等
其實她說的我都懂

媽媽請放心
對於感情我絕對認真不會隨便對待
當然我找對象的條件也沒了以往般那麼單純簡單
我需要的,是一個能肩負責任的男人
而不是一個還需要依靠家裡的任性男孩

是的,是時候我也該找個能陪我度過人生的另一半了
我害怕,我真的害怕當年邁雙親離開我后剩下我孤零零一個人那日子
我沒有兄弟姐妹我沒有要好知己
所有的一切都只有我一人承擔
而爸媽扮演的角色真的很重要
我能無拘無束得傾吐、撒嬌、發牢騷的就只有他們

隨著日子一天天過去,看著日益孱弱的父母我真的不知該怎麼辦好
時光老人,您可否聽聽我的禱告讓身邊的一切慢下來嗎?
我真的好害怕那快的不眨眼的時光給身邊的人與事帶來的影響

對於未來新的一年裡,我不奢求太多
只希望身邊的人都能平安健康,一切順利
感情那回事,就隨緣吧

過去一年裡,所有不好的我都要統統拋掉
所有的不快請遠離我,我要的是一個嶄新的人生
沒有她們我依舊能過得好好的

Be Happy.



2012/12/12

Sweet memories



One more week to go,there end my current semester.
quite stress for the coming paper..don't know why, I am so afraid of taking exam now.
I don't want to fail again!!everytime seeing the accounting paper I am gonna faint.
totally dislike accounting stuff..I would rather take 10 financial paper also don't want sit for account exam
suffering when doing the revision.and everytime I also feel like wanna give up on this subject.

Last Friday, I help one of our university's lecturer to foster a cute puppy.
her name is Kia. I really like her so much..first day she come, the lecturer provide me with cage and chain.
However, I didnt plan to cage her all the time. First time ever I put dog inside my room area.
and she is a very obedient and clever girl. I bought her another collar with bell as easy for me to notice where she move and what she's doing behind me.XD
At first I was so worried that she might do her business inside my room.but at last I was relief as she is so clever and will go out my balcony area there to solve her business. make me easier to do the cleaning job 

Enjoy the time I spent together with her for the three days fostering period.
I let her wander around my room and she likes to sleep under my leg.
when she awake, she will stretch her tired body and it looks really fun.
I like her keep licking and sniffing on me. first time ever I let a dog kiss my face.
Even my log log also don't have this chance..hahaha..the feeling is nice but quite itchy and geli~XD
I hug her and lie on floor together with her. and she keep playing with my hair.
she likes to lie on my floor clothes and hugging them to sleep.
3 pieces of my floor cloth being occupied by her..full with her slaver and her smell.

I loved so much looking at her sleeping face.
I loved her so so much and she is really super obedient.
I will talk to her. telling her to be good girl and go outside balcony to pee and poo.
and she do understand what I said. the lecturer was suprised too when I told her this as normally she will bring her out for walk and she always settle her business outside.

The day lecturer came and fetch her back, I was really sad.
I already used to her existence in my room. 
no more her cage in my room
no more her collar bell ringing in my room.
no more licking and sniffing from her and I miss the fun time I had with her.

Doing my revision and I was so used to keep saying : Kia, good girl ar~
look under my bed, there was the spot Kia loved so much to hide and sleep there hugging my clothes.
now that she had gone and no more those sweet and warm memories with her.
Dogs are always man's best friend and companion.
These few days I was so happy and in good mood with her in my life.
wish her can find a family that willing to give a forever home and loved her more than I do.
I will always be missing you

Two more days to my first paper. and I was so anxious.
recently am having exam phobia..sigh
I remember my promised and mom's promised too.
Please pass all the paper in this semester and I can adopt Xiao Jing, another cute and obedient doggie. Even she only left with one eye, I like her on my first sight and must fight to get her next semester. huhuhuhu!!! 

Chooi Wai Man!!add more oil in your revision.
Fight for your dream
Fight for Xiao Jing!!
Ga Yao arrhh!!!



2012/12/03

Life


Did a meaningful thing last weekend..
followed the UPAS society went to animal shelter in Ipoh and bathe those doggies..
and I get to know few utar students which volunteer in helping animals too..

my first experience visiting animal shelter and this shelter having 3 kennels for dogs and 1 for cat..
when I first step inside the shelter..I can see those dogs jumping up excitedly inside their kennels.
those doggies are super friendly to us and keep jumping and wandering around sniffing you when we went inside the kennel..

Even though I am not so used with the strong smell inside the kennel,but I also had some fun time with them..
feel really touch with those volunteer in helping animals..
they don't mind if the dogs having skin condition or wound that bleed..
they  don't mind spending money and time taking care those poor little things.

I do loves animal..but before get in touch with this activity, at most I will only give foods to those strays and play with them for a while.
my mommy are against animals..every time when she sees my approach those cats she will shoo them away..
she's mad because those stray cats always poo infront my house gate..XD
So everytime I will use the time when mommy was in bath and I will open the gate and play with those cute cats and give them food.
And mommy is afraid of dogs too..still remember last time I bring Log log back home, mommy was so scared until she not dare to go out to dry the clothes and need to me hold log log tight before she went out.

Through this time's activity, I am glad that there are still lots of animal lovers out there and what I did before was nothing compared with them.
we bathe the dogs, cleaning the kennel and prepare food for them.
even though at the end I was sweating like hell and smells stinky, but I feel satisfied and happy too.
seeing them having clean body and pleasant smell with happy time, all we did worth it.

Before going back home, went to KS's house and visit the dogs that being rescued by them last time.
there is one dog named Xiao Jing which suffered in eye problem and now it left only with 1 eye after surgery.
first sight seeing her, I fall in love with her even she only have one eye.
she is quite active and obedient to people around.
really feel sorry for what she've encountered.

Think quite a lot when I reach my room.
Suddenly the idea arise that maybe I can adopt her as my second pets?
called my mom and as expected she rejected my request.
I've begged for so long and even argue with her.
she said that what for you bring back a dog with one eye?can she guard the house?
mommy said I am a weird person..always like those weird things.
come on..nothing's wrong with the one eye dog wat..she's a life too..so don't discriminate her!!

Next day after argue, mommy sent me a message telling me that she loved me as I am her only child.
and I start bargaining with her that: If I pass all subjects in this semester, I will adopt Xiao Jing as my pet.
all the expenses and responsibility I will bear by myself as usual..
and please don't worry that I don't have enough money to spent during my study..
I will think clearly and planned well before I decide to adopt her.and  I will love her will all my heart without ignoring my study too.
and mommy promised me..hurray!!!

2 more weeks to final exam...and I must study hard..
for myself and also to realize my dream to adopt Xiao Jing.
start from tomorrow I will go stay at school library so that I could more concentrate on revision.

Today one of my assignment mate ask me to do revision together with him and he got some part do not understand.
haha..first time ever got assignment mate ask me to revise together..normally I used to do revision on my own,but its a good thing too la.at least two is better than one? LOL

Just now when I was enjoying my meal, my phone rang and received a message.
never thought that he will message me again.I was really shock.
even though I have deleted your number, but looking at those familiar numbers I know its you.
just some simple word: Hi, how are you recently?
Do you know how excited was I when seeing the message sent by you?
I wish for years that I can hear from you again..and now only my wish come true.
I was confused.should I reply your message?
after what I did so hard previously and you gave me with no response, now you appear again?
what's your purpose? just like last time, we lost contact for some while, you come back again, then leave again..

I'm enough of it!if there are something between us, we already been together long time ago but no wait till now..
hence I am sure that you're just bored and need someone to entertain you.
I do hope there are things between us, but there isn't.

Time to wake up, Wai Man.
I should know where I stand from the past and I don't wish to fall again because of you.
sometimes I will recall back the past and remind me of you.
I wished for thousand times that I could hear from you again..and now my dream comes true.
but I am not happy.I am not the old me in the past anymore.
must be cruel to myself to get rid off you.just like what I did as I choose to walk my lonely road even they are my gang..

So what? just let me live by my own way without always putting others as priority.
I am tired of it..what I get since I treat you so nice and you gave me with nothing.
best friends will betray..so do you..
I don't want to get hurt time by time..
I'm pain!!

So better stay away from you and from them.
I prefer my current life and thanks for your concern.
I am doing so fine here.and I wouldn't reply your message.

Be tough..be determined.
everything's gonna be okay.
fight for my dreams..live a better life
I can do it~!!