semester break talk

Finally I finished my exam on last Saturday and headed back to KL
weeks before my semester break I already search through online for part time job intake
and on the night I came back I received a job offer start on next day which is Sunday
pity me..I didn't have the chance to rest well since my exam week till now

It was a promoter job located at Tesco Mutiara Damansara and I am in charge of the baby diapers
lol...my very first experience working at hypermarket and promoting diapers some more..
for the god sake RM80/day I worked like hell, standing there for almost 8 hours
checking the stock and some time I even went to loading area and look for certain stocks
I am so man that I  could personally move two big boxes by my own and those foreign workers were so impressed on me..wah, amoi you ni kuat la XD

Actually I am not so used to get help from others as I know that people won't like you to bother them
from the expression and talking tone I can sense your dislike..and in the end it was true
another permanent promoter told me that those two aunty promoting for another brand like to talk bad behind people and nobody likes them..proven my sixth sense is accurate :D

From Sunday till Wednesday I worked so hard..even my time start at 12pm but early in the morning I have to wake up and follow my parents went out at 7am..what the hell..can't even have a better sleep although I am super tired
I dislike my over serious working attitude ,  but it has become a habit of mine to get things done perfectly..
I will reach my working location an hour earlier and hanging around there..and everytime I sure get to my position 20 minutes earlier as I already been there..
my hardworking is killing me and really suffer alot..
cause myself some bruises in the process of moving stock..pain@@

Luckily it was just a four days replacement job..and I am enough of this life!!
never try never know, but once tried I swear I will not go for any promoting job again...
and my ex-boss called and asked me to help her in a one week project..
just a simple office job sitting there and given a call list to call and confirm the interviewee's info
same pay rate but the job scope is more comfortable..I like it :D

So many things happen after I came back to KL..
and I don't have the strength to face all these stuffs..
what I need most now is a good deep sleep and rest..
I am tired of everything..anything!!please do not disturb me and let me rest
this is life...no matter how much you hate it, you still have to live T_T

Wishing all the best to me for the coming days..
and I do hope tomorrow will be better and I believed in it..
gambateh ^^

累

最後兩張考試我就回家啦
今天經過漫長的兩科考試早已精疲力盡
還好昨夜我沒堅持熬夜也小睡了片刻
得為明天的科目做準備我今夜應該不能安眠了

我快瘋了
腦袋快爆炸了

最近的心情有些難以控制
不是過於興奮難忍就是無窮的低潮
那惱人的眼淚啊是我的解藥
但哭過後真的好多了

對於未來我總是充滿著憧憬
但現實中我卻害怕未來的到來
那不知曉的未來我害怕達不了我要的
每一天我都在告訴自己：你行的!
我不能被看遍我不能輸我不能失敗
每一段挫折淚水流乾后我都告訴自己要振作
但其實我真的好累好累好累
也不知道自己到底能堅持多久
人的堅強也總該有個極限吧

硬起頭皮咬緊牙根
每晚那無聲的淚水陪我撐過了一切一切

我一步步走向成功的道路
途中卻遺失了不少
未來嗎？我憧憬卻也害怕
憶起那一路走來的孤獨我總是崩潰


生活啊就是如此折磨
竟懷念起當個小孩真好
今時今日的我回顧一看小中學的時光
才發覺那是如此的珍貴和幸福
年輕可真好啊

而那，卻是永遠也回不去的曾經
所以才如此珍貴
人們總是要在失去后錯過後才覺曉
我懷念年輕的歲月有著那瘋狂的本錢

不能再瘋了
長大了
太多的拘束
太多的顧慮
太多的經歷逼使成熟

就算你多麼不想成長
就算多麼留戀那年輕單純的歲月
我們也回不去過往

好累
真的好累

my road

Six more days to go and here ends my current semester.
this is supposed to be my last semester,but because of me myself
I got to extend my study till next year..so do my internship.

Never mind..just take this as a lesson
and let it be another chance for me to gain more
away from hometown and live alone out here is challenging.
and this made me a stronger and less dependent person

Gone through quite a lot
and that's what people generally called as life lessons
without all these, you won't learnt and grew

It's really a tough life
yet we still need to continue

This is the route that I chose
and no one to be blamed
I have to walked the road I chose
even I fell or get lost eventually I will go back to the right track

Tonight and maybe tomorrow will be my sleepless night
have to do my revision for 3 papers continuously
will be dead soon..XD
enjoy this revision time bah..
after finish all these then I can relax for 3 weeks holiday
then time to add oil again..

Applied for few part time jobs
and hoping to hear from them soon

Good luck in my study too :D

perfection

It's Sunday, September 16 the Malaysia Day
and guess what, today is public holiday and Monday will be the replacement
hate this as it is coming nearer to my following paper..
3 papers continuously on Tuesday and Wednesday..I'm gonna dead!!
I needed so much the library to open, so that I can stay focus and study there
and you this stupid holiday why choose this timing to come approach..zzZ

How nice it would be if I could spend me public holiday in real holiday mood
but not with my bundle of notes and hard remembering time
gosh...hate it hate it!!!

I'm totally in love with the study mood I had when I was in library
such a pleasant environment to sink down all the bad things in my mind and concentrate
and I do enjoy the air-conditioned space especially in the noon time
you can't imagine how comfortable it was to be in the cold library while the bright sun shines outside

Excited..today was really in a superb mood..
and without reason my mood was just so high..
until its too over and out of my control..
turned out all my feelings are being heighten and I am having a contrasted mood

all in a sudden I feel like there are thousands word in my mind
and I desperately would like to speak it all out
picked up phone call from mom and we talked so long..can't wait to go back KL and continue
but moment after I ended the call everything changed..it turned into dissapointment and anger

Seeing those messages in my phone and it ruined my joyful mood
hope that this will be the last time you guys approach me
its sucks when things get related to you guys and I don't even want to meet or hear from you
truly saying this...my life is perfect without you, so stop showing up again and mess it up..
hated this so much..seriously..as it reminds me of the wound and pain that I wish to cure for so long

I do love Kelly Clarkson's song My Life Would Sucks W/O You..
but in reality my life would sucks with you in it!!
don't blame me for being so mean to you as you deserved this..I'm done with you and I won't care so much, any longer..after what you left me with? Yes, I wouldn't!!

I am mean..and I admit it..so what?
its my life..and I will live for myself, for once..no more hearty caring from me..
the old me is dead...get killed by your bloody hand..and being burried at no where..

I'm so sad!!extremely depressed..
exam, please be over soon and I miss KL so much..
wishing all the best to me for doing revision in this coming public holiday

Even all those stuff are against me, I'm still hopeful for what's coming up next
can't wait to start my next semester and I've planned so well for it
especially when I think about the French language course that I will take..
arghh, I am over excited again!!

underneath my dark side depression there lived a strong mind
that I kept telling myself, eventually the worst will go
and I am expecting something new,fresh and better to come after
For several times I'm so near to give up but thanks to the depression,
it made me stronger and here I am today.
I'm so glad that I've learnt a life lesson and I grown

Nice day ahead~
cheers!!

11/09/2012

Yesterday till now I only slept for 3 hour and less

finally, the first paper is over..relief for a while at last

really put a lot of effort on this paper as I don't wish to repeat again

weeks before the exam I have already done preparing all those notes

and everyday I also go to school library to do my revision 

But the moment exam period over and the examiner collect the papers,

I wish I can have the chance to make some more amendment on my last question.

it was the easiest ever question in the whole paper and when I first look at it,

I was like: oh my god..finally there's an easy question can score

but because of overjoy, I accidentally make a mistake in calculating the SD

few minutes before exam over, I still go back and look at in front's tough question

its just too late when I discovered my portfolio SD calculated wrong..

ahhhh!!!even the moment examiner ask us to stop writing I still take the chance to do amendment.

but just a halfway job and regret that why I so obey to the instruction of stop writing?

should ignore it and continue correct my answer what..ishhh..

thought can get full marks for the last question and now my hope gone..so sad

actually I am quite worried the front parts answer as I don't have confident that will get it correct

scared....please don't let me fail this paper..what I can do now is just to wish for more luck la..

Burn midnight oil yesterday and after exam my situation was just too bad

remain sitting on my seat after the examiner collected my paper 

and suddenly feel that I am in a strange surrounding with nice nice noise..

total blank in my head for once a moment I sat there

although it was just 1130am but felt like its already evening and near to night time

bought myself a chicken rice on the way home..I have been starving for the last 15 hours

However, I loss my appetite and the chicken rice smell made me want vomit

sitting in front my lappy and try to restart since it broke down yesterday and I did it

finally...so happy that I still can access to it but I know its time to bring it for maintainance le

ate only half packet of the rice and keep it for later meal..

rolling at my bed and I just cant fall asleep..damn it..

I am not used to have afternoon nap..

no matter how tired am I, the most I can only nap for 1+ hour and longest is 2

pity me with panda eye and yet still sit in front computer finding things to do..

after exam sure must rest one day then only continue other revision de mah

Haizz..looking at my face in the mirror

the dark eye circle is horrified and my so do my skin condition 

should take good care of myself..my age isn't young anymore

if keep still with this stay up late lifestyle and less water intake, I will be dead very soon

I am very unhealthy!!

I don't want leave this world in such a young age 

take good care..and add oil in the following paper

11 more days to go and there will be my holiday :D

Good Luck~

疯

原本平静的心湖
再次被你激起涟漪
消失了不就好吗怎么还要再次出现我眼前

努力地快乐着勤奋着
但在收到那信息当儿那美好却消失了
很努力地把你们排挤在我的圈子外
我甚至不想听见看见任何跟你有关的事物
而那该死的信息把我一切的努力都破坏了
每一回接触到跟你有关的事物我就会失控崩溃

拜托
若你要走出我的世界以外
请不要再次浮现那会牵动我心的脸庞

我的自我安慰
我的独自舔伤
在这几个月里我真的过的很好很好

昨晚如往常般过着我逍遥的日子
网上开心地聊着
认真地复习着课业
和期待着某人的信息

忽然，就那么忽然
信息提示响了
我是那么的激动，会是他吗?
但入眼的却是那久违的名字
我不是已删除了你们的号码吗

瞬间心底的是那激动
过往的一切再次涌上心头
就如你们把我狠狠独自抛弃那一天的心情

我努力平息已久的那激动破功了
整夜躺在床上辗转不眠疯狂地喊着哭着
连我最害怕的黑暗我也不再在乎了

黑漆漆的房里我站到窗前呆望
一个人坐在床尾抱膝痛哭
那可怕的情绪还延续到今天
骑脚车出去买饭却无端落泪
花洒淋头那刻狠狠地哭着

这，是你们留给我的伤痕
也是我人生里上的最宝贵一课

想起朋友赠我的一句：
在家靠父母，出外靠朋友
我呸，这一切还不过能靠自己一人
朋友吗，你对他交心结果最后自己是傻子
算了吧我也习惯了靠自己没人可帮得了
也省得事情最后我还得帮忙收拾残局

漫漫长夜那嘶喊是我的痛
狠狠地疯了一晚是时候结束了

两个星期后就考完试了
而我也会离开这鬼地方
一个有你们的地方

狠心的是你们
请别怪我的冷漠
你不配