Middle
in the night I’ve finished watching Vampire Diaries Season 6 Episode 14.
Caroline’s mom is dead, not of any supernatural incidents but to natural
death. Yes, ironically most of the dead
incidents happened in Mystic Falls are related to vampire/werewolf/vengeance between
supernatural beings, while having bunch of extraordinary supernatural friends
including her own daughter, Sheriff being the most ordinary amongst passed away
in the ordinary way.
Not
to be too dramatic but I dislike the atmosphere of this situation. This is the
fact we must face in our daily life. People born and dies in every single
seconds - people we know , or strangers. I felt pity and sympathy to those who
lost their loved, but at least there’s still somebody besides, siblings or friends
or own family member (Husband/Wife). I
feel scared as when the same situation applies to me, I don’t know who else
will be at my side. As the only daughter in my family, having not much friends
with people I loved do not love me, I actually had no one.
I
can be considered as quite an independent person living my own life since I was
young. I have no siblings to talk to, and having strict family restrictions
(over protection), I have no chance to grow up and explore the outside world
until I started my university life. And that’s the time I learnt the most
painful life lessons, which I then believed life is much more better spending
alone rather than to tolerate and gave your best still you are the
un-important.
Not
having a close relationship with relatives as well since I seldom will join in
especially when not of the same age and when everyone have grown up. People around will have their own cycle and
even friends are the same. You could not expect someone not of the same blood
to spent time and share everything endlessly with you. What’s the point to
speak out as audience will always stay audience and can’t do much to resolve.
I am
afraid, that when someday my only rely had left me, what kind of life will I
have after that? No more daddy fetching back off work, no more home cooked meal
awaiting when back home, no more people will hear your nagging about life
around, no more love. Even I enjoyed my lonely life, but still there will always
be someone behind which is my parent that support the most. I couldn’t imagine
how am I supposed to continue my life thereafter. I am afraid of the darkness
as I will never be the last to switch off light before sleep every night, and
even I did I will pretended that I am calm and walk slowly through the dark
staircase before could reach my room. The fact is, deep inside my heart there
are thousands thoughts recalling back the scary moments when I watched horror
movie. Yes, they are just my imagination and what happened in movie will never
come true, but I still scared.
Life
is tough when you grew up and have to worry your old aged parents. It’s a complicated
feeling caused you love your parents but you do not know how much time you
still able to spend with them. You can’t plan for any further future due to the
uncertainty and at the same time you are afraid of the unplanned future they are
about to leave you with.
