perfection

It's Sunday, September 16 the Malaysia Day
and guess what, today is public holiday and Monday will be the replacement
hate this as it is coming nearer to my following paper..
3 papers continuously on Tuesday and Wednesday..I'm gonna dead!!
I needed so much the library to open, so that I can stay focus and study there
and you this stupid holiday why choose this timing to come approach..zzZ

How nice it would be if I could spend me public holiday in real holiday mood
but not with my bundle of notes and hard remembering time
gosh...hate it hate it!!!

I'm totally in love with the study mood I had when I was in library
such a pleasant environment to sink down all the bad things in my mind and concentrate
and I do enjoy the air-conditioned space especially in the noon time
you can't imagine how comfortable it was to be in the cold library while the bright sun shines outside

Excited..today was really in a superb mood..
and without reason my mood was just so high..
until its too over and out of my control..
turned out all my feelings are being heighten and I am having a contrasted mood

all in a sudden I feel like there are thousands word in my mind
and I desperately would like to speak it all out
picked up phone call from mom and we talked so long..can't wait to go back KL and continue
but moment after I ended the call everything changed..it turned into dissapointment and anger

Seeing those messages in my phone and it ruined my joyful mood
hope that this will be the last time you guys approach me
its sucks when things get related to you guys and I don't even want to meet or hear from you
truly saying this...my life is perfect without you, so stop showing up again and mess it up..
hated this so much..seriously..as it reminds me of the wound and pain that I wish to cure for so long

I do love Kelly Clarkson's song My Life Would Sucks W/O You..
but in reality my life would sucks with you in it!!
don't blame me for being so mean to you as you deserved this..I'm done with you and I won't care so much, any longer..after what you left me with? Yes, I wouldn't!!

I am mean..and I admit it..so what?
its my life..and I will live for myself, for once..no more hearty caring from me..
the old me is dead...get killed by your bloody hand..and being burried at no where..

I'm so sad!!extremely depressed..
exam, please be over soon and I miss KL so much..
wishing all the best to me for doing revision in this coming public holiday

Even all those stuff are against me, I'm still hopeful for what's coming up next
can't wait to start my next semester and I've planned so well for it
especially when I think about the French language course that I will take..
arghh, I am over excited again!!

underneath my dark side depression there lived a strong mind
that I kept telling myself, eventually the worst will go
and I am expecting something new,fresh and better to come after
For several times I'm so near to give up but thanks to the depression,
it made me stronger and here I am today.
I'm so glad that I've learnt a life lesson and I grown

Nice day ahead~
cheers!!