Growth. and please be tougher

Finally the result released.. and I'm glad that I pass all the papers.
thanks god that I can get rid off the stupid accounting paper after this..
damn so happy.

7 more days to my 23th birthday.
and my best friend during secondary study dated me out to have an early celebration with me.
I am so happy after get to know both of them willing to have an  early celebration with me as they scared
I will get back to Kampar before my birthday..I appreciate it much..
can't wait  for tomolo night's meeting up with them.

Honestly.totally never been celebrating me birthday before this.
the most impressive memory is that during my form 6 time whole class sang a birthday song for me in class and get a super big handmade birthday card from them.
after getting into university.. 2 years together with them, I am sorry to say that, they never have a birthday celebration with me.
Everytime I am always the one who keep caring about others feeling
and I worked so hard to make everyone happy.
I don't care I spent a lot for the birthday preparation.
I don't care I postpone my date to go back hometown just to celebrate their birthday.
I don't care those hard work I did for the surprises .

But in their eyes my birthday was nothing special.
cause my birthday was always the 1st day of school opening day. and they will not come back that early.
hence no celebration for me.
I am a very simple person. I don't need a cake. I don't need expensive gift.
what I wanted most is just some simple dinning together and true heart talk together.
That would be just enough..
I can't feel your sincere heart. and after what you did and told me last time.
I was so regret that I am that naive to give you my true heart and expect you treat me the same.
Instead, things goes the other way.
Friends? after those poisonous word from you? after the untolerance from you?
I really couldn't stop dropping tears everytime thinking of them.
and I will never forget this precious life lesson given by them.

I don't have much friends.
and I am glad that even so, I still have true friends around.
true friends like them. and I wish our friendship really could last forever.

Recently am actively exploring new friend circle thru web.
and there are one guy who claimed that he's a financial planner with the age of 29.
I doubted that, as a matured professional will not directly ask me to be his gf after 1st conversation.
the world is just so weird with different kind of people.
he dated me out today and after considering so long I didnt attend.
just now he called and said that he waited me for so long and I didnt appear.
should I believe him? he date me out at 230pm but nearing 6 o'clock only he called and ask me.
will it be possible he waited there for such long for a girl that he never met before? hmm..
actually I'm  scared too for going out with a stranger guy alone.
not everytime I will be such lucky can meet with good person..and I not dare to take the risk again.
from the conversation I discovered that he is not that simple as I thought.

Be cautious please..
even I am desperate to find a person to start a relationship. but he definitely will not be the one.
I don't wish my first love start in this way. just too childish and unsecured.
even he with his super sweet words..but I will not fall for these.
and I feel that those words from him made me so uncomfortable.
dear..darling..sweet heart...life partner some more..LOL
creepy!! and really feel so cold for what he called me..
haiss..this is life..you have to go thru many things so that you can get a clearer vision.
and I am still young and unmatured in this manner. there are still a lot for me  to learn

getting so sick recently..sore throat..bad cough..light fever..running nose.even headache severely.
please recover soon...I am enough of it!!
must take good care of myself as school opening soon.

dear me..be tough please..
wish this will be a nice year for me.
and that all my dream will come true.
:0